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New Eats

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Okay, so I know this isn’t a very appealing photo. A half-eaten meal isn’t going to thrill anyone, but I started scarfing it down and then realized I might want to share what I made.

I bought beets in Pearl Market today. I cut off the green tops and sauteed them in a little olive oil, garlic, onion powder, red chipotle powder, smoked paprika, toasted onion powder, salt and pepper. I feared that the greens would be too strong or bitter since they looked pretty big and tough. Man, was I wrong – yummo. In another pot, we added the sliced beets and tossed in a can of mandarin orange slices (without added sugar). We simmered until tender. We means I need to give my hubby credit for the beet/orange concoction since he tried it once before. Again, yummo. Coupled with a grilled chicken breast, and it was a bona fide feast.

I will say the men in the house skipped the greens and opted for a chicken sandwich, complete with white bread and bacon, but I didn’t covet their plates or the clogged arteries in the making.

Fall is a perfect time to try some new veggies. What are your favorites?

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Pause the Slippage

I want to eat a house right now. I nearly ate one last night, and it gave me horrible indigestion all night long. I’d like to avoid the re-run this evening so I’m hoping that pushing pause for just a few minutes to post a blog entry might help.

Part of the problem is I spent some time over the weekend traveling and eating too much sugar, which always wreaks havoc so I’m trying to detox a little. Gum usually helps; of course I have none. I’m sucking on a lollipop trying to constantly remind myself not to bite into it, invariably busting up one of my fillings.

I had a pretty good day with food and exercise so the evening cravings threw off my mojo. I ate reasonably and took a spin class at lunchtime. I also noticed today that I didn’t get extraordinarily freaked out in the locker room. I didn’t even contemplate taking two towels into the shower with me, and I stood naked in front of my locker without feeling major heart palpitations. Shit, if things keep going this well, I might be able to bend over in all my glory and not give a rat’s ass, or stand in front of the make-up mirror next to Naked Woman to compare saggy hooters. Nah, that will never happen.

At any rate, I think I have my head screwed back on and the house might be safe for one more night. What helps you press pause to gain control when you feel slippage?

Step Off the Train

Vacation has been sweet. It’s taken several days to truly decompress. There were no big vacation trips, just time with my mom, which has been delightful even though my son managed to give her a kick ass cold shortly after she arrived.

Lazy mornings and empty agendas fill our days. It’s been exactly what I needed, and it’s provided time to breathe, think, readjust.

I hopped off the crazy train of must dos and gave myself a chance to reflect on what has been happening in my mind and soul. I wrote yesterday that I felt a little squirmy, and the wiggles are still present, but confidence seems to percolate beneath the surface too.

I can’t help but turn thoughts toward my attitudes about weight and food and body image and how they mingle and blend and haunt. A hundred pounds ago, I may have eluded myself to believe that the weight was about food, but I’m acutely aware now, it is not quite that simple. I wonder if the small amount of weight that I’ve struggled with for the past year serves more as a reminder that I haven’t been quite ready to embrace the fact that I’m good enough just the way I am. I, just me as I stand today, am good and right with the world. It causes my stomach to flip even as I type the words.

When I yo-yo, it provides constant admonishment that I haven’t quite arrived and tells me that I haven’t got things quite right, and perhaps I will never get where I need to be. But, I’m tired of playing that tape – it’s a load of shit – and I think it keeps me from reaching other goals I may have.

This particular struggle serves no purpose except to keep me stuck in an uncreative, tentative place. It seems obvious to me as I sit in my jammies spending some of my vacation with myself and my thoughts, but I need to find a way to capture and hold onto this awareness when I reenter the real world. Everyone gets anxious or outright whack-a-doodle, but some seem better at pulling it together before implosion, which for me generally comes at the same time grab for my own detonator otherwise known as triple chocolate lava cake. Where exactly would food for thought fit?

Haunted Tomato Jungle

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Anyone know what I’m hosting on my tomato plants, and is there an environmentally friendly way to get rid of it without killing the plant? It looks like some kind of egg, which I really don’t want to hatch only to feast on my tomatoes. Most days, I don’t mind sharing, but I prefer to choose the recipients, and I certainly don’t want the little beasts taking over. The tomatoes are coming on fast and furiously and I’m not ready to give in so your suggestions would be appreciated.
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I picked seven pounds of tomatoes this evening, yum! Should I share?
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Lyle created a trellis this year for the tomatoes to climb. It seemed like a good idea until I had to get down on my belly to crawl through the cavern. I felt like a soldier in the muddy jungle trenches of Vietnam. I just kept hoping my neighbors weren’t at their kitchen window watching my ass hiked up in the air waggling back and forth as I tried to scooch in as far as possible.

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You can’t have tomatoes without basil, which is also taking on forest-like qualities.

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Brussel sprouts, anyone? It’s the first year I’ve grown them, and they seem to take up an inordinate amount of space. Hopefully, they’ll be worth it.

Twisted Grunders Suck

I think the last few weeks found me with my big girl panties knotted around my ankles. Two-year-old tantrums kept good behavior at bay.

Exercise has been great, but whether I was throwing too many parties in my mouth or kicking and screaming about how unfair life was that my pants are too tight, I found myself a little irked goals weren’t being met.

I’m irritated I didn’t take full advantage of the personal training for the last three months. Friday was my last session with my trainer – she’s moving out of state. I’m bummed. I didn’t meet the food/weight loss goals, but I suppose there was progress, which gives me another opportunity to think about where I want to go from here.

I have a lot of ideas swirling around in my head, but haven’t voiced many as of late, which is probably why I haven’t seen much progress, doh. It’s hard to meet a goal, which just swims in silence when I’ve spent more time aligning myself with a couch and a bag of chips.

I had hoped weight loss, eating and exercise would all be in line by now, but the problem is action needs to follow hope. Not all is a wash though. Exercise is in a good place and I definitely feel stronger than I did three months ago. Instead of beating myself up over what is NOT, I may want to build on what IS working.

A couple weeks ago, I realized I was eating an unmentionable amount of food under the disguise of an evening snack. I’m not sure what the exact caloric intake of a snack should be, but I’m pretty confident it’s less than a Big Mac. Seeing this proof written in a food journal was good feedback even if it did make me squirm.

So, one of the new strategies I decided to employ was to journal backward, beginning with my evening meal. First, it really throws off my mojo and makes me think about what I’m putting into my mouth, but more importantly, it makes me look ahead to the remaining 24 hours, which requires a plan if I want to eat more than the bruised and wilted cucumber laying in the back of my fridge.

This morning and afternoon will require a little creativity given the fact impromptu pizza found me last night. But my new strategy might just work. Last night as I skulked around my kitchen telling myself that I’d already blown it with the pizza, I remembered I still had the morning and afternoon to recover. I grabbed a peach and turned off the kitchen light.

I’m still searching for answers and finding more questions, but at least I’m thinking again. It’s funny how certain things work like magic for a while, but then all of a sudden, not so much. For now, I’m yanking up my big girl pants and concentrating on the here and now… how about you?

Believe the Slogan

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I experienced a nasty altercation with a bag of sour cream and onion chips yesterday.

I didn’t really give the purchase a second thought. I generally reserve them for holiday cookouts or if I know there will be kids around to polish them off before I start nosing around, which was exactly what was supposed to happen this weekend. My teenage-eating machine also provides a great back up.

Plans changed and fewer people arrived. As I opened the bag, Russell informed me that he only likes the barbeque flavor. Crazy talk. Does the boy not share half of my DNA?

I should have dumped the newly opened bag right into the trash, but no, I had to prove a point and practice moderation.

I consume chips judiciously in as much as I eat all the broken ones first and the teensy ones with the little brown edges next, then the whole ones. I save the folded over whole ones for last. I used to think I was a freak about this, but I’ve watched others eat chips and everyone seems to have a system.

I’m fine with chips as long as:

1. I don’t grab even one, or
2. There are large quantities of teens lingering around insuring quick, if not tidy, consumption.

Given the fact that I’m a word girl, not a number diva, I failed to recognize the pending equation: Chips – crowds = fat ass. I grabbed more and more and more until I realized I needed intervention. I tossed the bag open-side down in the trash taking no chances of just one more Mr. Lays.

I suppose there is truth in advertising, and I suppose their you can’t eat just one tagline is way more appealing than open this bag, bitch, and you are going down.

Thrive in Rain

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Tomatoes, eggplant, lettuce, radishes, carrots, herbs galore, cucumbers, strawberries, beets, peppers, brussel sprounts, spinach, onions. Yes, we over planted, but I can’t wait. I’m days within feasting on some of the early crops. Yum.

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