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Loquacious Locker Room Lyrics

OK, so maybe loquacious is pushing it, but I actually talked to three women and nodded to two others today in the locker room, and we were all standing there in varying degrees of nikkedness. (Note to Shiloh: thanks for the word, I’m adding it to my own personal stylebook, or would that be style book?)

I can’t say that I was really comfortable and it felt very intentional and not necessarily in a good way, at least on my part. But I pushed through. I guess I didn’t have to put much thought into talking to the first lady because I began when I was fully clothed. She had all her stuff spread out over the bench, which is usually my M.O. I was teasing her that the only difference in our shared area and my house was the fact that my husband’s crap wasn’t spread all over the floor. She laughed, but I noticed she seemed about as comfortable with chatting as I usually am, but she didn’t know that I had just dragged her into my yearlong experiment and I was feeling brave in that moment of levity.

It was somewhat affirming to me that this woman seemed squirmy, not that I want to make other people squirm, well sometimes I do, but not about subjects as serious as body image. It made me feel a little bit like kindred spirits, but I’ll never be able to tell her this tidbit, unless I see her in front of her locker because I seriously doubt I would recognize her anywhere else.

I marched off to my yoga class quite pleased with myself and was catapulted to the heavens in comparison to the Express Madness (actual course title) of last Friday. Had I not looked at the clock before I rolled out my mat and assumed child’s pose, I would have thought the class lasted about 20 minutes, instead of the actual 45. I must be building some stamina in there, and that felt good too.

Afterward, I talked to two women that had been in the class with me. Again, nothing life altering, just chatter about dog food. There seems to be a lot of talk in the locker room about dogs and dog food. I don’t quite get it, but I pitched in, and I suppose it’s better than obsessing about saggy boobs and bums. I still wonder what the men are talking about as they pull on their pants, tuck in their shirts and tie their shoes before heading back to work because I just know there is no way in hell that the locker-room-talk stereotype ever originated in the women’s space.

I left feeling pretty good about the experience, and I was really glad that I had taken the time to do something positive for myself… probably the only thing through the course of the day, which leads me to my next request…

On a completely unrelated note, I need some help. I would love to hear what you do when you are trying to come off of a sugar frenzy. I’m sure that I would be able to share a practical and useful plan if my brain wasn’t clogged right now with the demonic shit. For the life of me, I can’t seem to come up with a strategy that will get me get through a few days to allow my body to detox. Please consider posting a comment with a tip or suggestion that has worked for you in the past (or present). I would be forever in your debt. Hey, maybe I should promise to send my half-eaten bag of Lindor’s Truffles to the winner of the best suggestion? First tip? The bag of chocolate has got to go. Tonight. Others?


4 Responses

  1. Honestly? I just substitute “sweet” fruits like apples, bananas, and grapes. Even some veggies like corn and carrots taste sweet to me when I’m not eating (or eating a whole lot less) sugar.

    I also used those 100-calories snacks when I first started losing. My rule was that I could have one packet per day, and I stuck to it religiously. Something about knowing I could have that one little sweet treat later in the day helped me through the 400 times during the day that I wanted something sweet. 🙂 (I do realize that this approach doesn’t work for everyone, and I have no real idea why it worked so well for me.)

  2. First… love the continuing locker room saga/experiment.
    Sugar… oh boy, it’s my nemesis too.
    Carrot juice helps.
    get all sugar out of the house as much as possible.
    have lots of things to crunch,
    eat often so that you don’t get hungry. You can’t let your blood sugar drop.
    if you go off of “white” food and bread too it will pass much quicker.
    make a big batch of grains (brown rice, millet and quinoa are a great combo)
    I need to do this too.
    Drink tons of water and white knuckle it for 3 days.
    Then you shall be free!

  3. Cammy, I have increased my veggie intake today and the fruit too. I’m also trying to make sure I get enough fiber and protein. I swear I don’t know why I do this – I know better.

  4. Teresa – carrot juice – I’ll have to give that a shot. Good pointer on the whole grains. I’ve got some brown rice and quinoa in the cupboard now. I’ve been crunching on veggies and trying to remember to eat some protein packed snacks to avoid getting over hungry.

    I took the dog for a bike ride when I got home that helped. It’s almost 8p now…I have a feeling it will be an early night just so I can avoid the temptation. thanks for the pointers.

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