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Send Me Wisdom

I appreciate those who check into my blog, and sometimes it surprises me when people I casually know mention something that I’ve written here. I forget about much of my ranting and think I’m going mad when someone talks about something they’ve read here – obviously the person found a way inside my head. Then I remember that I throw much of my random thoughts out here for anyone to see. I’m not sure if that should put my mind at ease or worry the hell out of me.

Regardless, I need your input today…right here at the bottom of the post. Simply click the blue “comment” and fill me with your wisdom. I REALLY need some today. Go ahead talk me off the ledge, edge, mountain, building, whatever freaking metaphor you want to use. I’m not dealing well with life, well more accurately Lyle and his injury.

I’ll set the stage, but I warn you this is all from my perspective, and God only knows how close to reality it is. I’m sure Lyle’s account would be much different. That fulfills the disclaimer portion of the program.

He took the day off yesterday. It had been planned for weeks – all employees got to schedule several furlough days when the economy tanked last year. It worked so well, his company decided to carry it over into the next fiscal year. Anyway, he was home – supposedly resting since he “over did it” a little during the weekend.

I picked up my phone when I left the office and saw a message from Lyle informing me that I needed to park at the neighbor’s house because he was sealing the driveway. Really?

What part of that seemed like a good idea? Would it be the part that you give your son half-baked directions to do a job that you know you won’t be satisfied with or the part that you hobble over and grab the roller away from him and tell him that he’s lazy and not doing a good job? Or, would it be the part that he is surprised that he can barely make it to bed to ice his leg when he’s finished? Throw in some sweltering heat and the recipe keeps getting richer.

I don’t know how to deal with this – seriously. I need to check in with someone, anyone so please cyber friends, help me out. What should I be doing here?

Bitching obviously doesn’t work, but I have to admit that I don’t feel pleasantly inclined to help him get ice, drinks, snacks, whatever when he refuses to take care of himself in a way that is conducive to true healing. His answer was to get more medication. Again, really?

I know he’s struggling. He’s probably also afraid. He’s never endured an injury like this. We are going to see a specialist tomorrow, and I’m sure he’s stressing about that, but of course he doesn’t want to talk about any of that.

He tells me I’m being unreasonable. I cannot control his behavior, and I totally understand how overwhelming it feels to be so far out of commission that you can’t do simple things for yourself. But how can I remain calm and help him…or at least not complicate the problem?


3 Responses

  1. You said it yourself: “I cannot control his behavior”. He’s a big boy and will have to deal with the consequences of his decisions. So quit beating up on yourself! What has helped me in difficult situations is to remind myself things could be a lot worse and plenty of people deal with far worse every day, for the rest of their lives. This too shall pass. Repeat this phrase as needed thru clenched teeth as you’re fetching yet another item for him. And then take a margarita down to water’s edge where you can’t hear him. Hope you take some comfort from these ramblings, and thanks again for the other day-it was perfect!

  2. My husband had a similar edge to power wash and re-seal the deck this past weekend. He probably saw it as one of the remaining opportunities to do it, as temperature and precipitation are the key factors in determining the most appropriate time to do so.

    He really didn’t have the time in his schedule to do it. We had company from out of town and family gatherings planned.

    For you — are you in a financial position this year where you could have paid someone else (that was qualified to do the job) to do it? That way, it would have gotten done (to satisfy Lyle) and it would have gotten done to your liking (to satisfy everyone, including your teen that probably didn’t want to do it anyway).

  3. My suggestion- Run yes run as fast as you can in the other direction. When you get to an ocean, stop, rest, then go home. They love you like no one else!
    This to shall pass.

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