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Virtual VD

My computer, or more accurately my personal log on, has some kind of funky virus. Lyle can log onto my laptop just fine under his username and password, and when I mentioned my symptoms to Russell, he said it was probably a Trojan blah, blah, blah.

I didn’t really get too concerned because I live with my very own personal Help Desk. I know I should take more time to familiarize myself with computer security in order to avoid virtual VD, but Lyle is right there to manage all the household computer issues so I look at it as freeing up some of my internal disk space to focus on something that holds a little more personal interest to me like, well anything.

In my mind, the problem was little more than an insignificant snafu because I figured that Lyle would pop on the computer, load a heavy-duty dose of virtual antibiotics and solve the problem. Somewhere along the line he decided to decrease the overtime hours for his consulting services. What the hell, he’s been known to give it up to all the other computer illiterate friends around us when they beg for help in similar situations containing similar amounts of stupidity. I think he’s holding out because I did the same with him the last two nights, which potentially poses all kinds of other questions, but I have not the time or energy to explore right now.

Day three arrived this morning so I decided to at least see what Trojan blah, blah, blah referred to. When I Googled it, a plethora of information appeared on my screen about computer viruses and condoms affirming what I already knew. It looks like a little more abstinence is in my future.

The other thing that bothered me about my recent virtual illness was the fact that I had to scroll to page three on Google before I found any information on the Trojan War – the real one, well you know what I mean. I claim no expertise in literature or Greek mythology, but don’t you think that’s a little off? Now, my son is one of those geeks who has taken three years of Latin so I know he covered the subject matter, but would most kids jump to the primary Google definitions if polled? Are they missing something bigger with such easy access to computers and the internet?

But then I had to stop and think about how frustrated I am about not having unfettered usage of my own computer/internet. I sit here jonesing for my familiar screen saver image of Mount Fuji that I took a few years ago, and I type as quietly and unobtrusively as possible hoping that Lyle won’t notice that I must be using his sign-on information and subsequently boot me off his account, which may happen once he drinks his first cup of coffee.

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