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Has Anyone Seen My Collar Bones?

I’ve been trying to keep my recorded thoughts positive as I struggle with removing the six pounds of cottage cheese that seem to have landed on each of my already-too-dimply thighs, but I felt a lot of unexplained resistance.

I’ve been here before – with a hell of a lot more weight plaguing me than this. “Just get on with it,” I kept telling myself, but I still fought against something.

I realize there are physiological differences “this time.” The main disparity revolves around the fact I seem to be entering the wonderful land of menopause, but there lies a shift somewhere else as well. I feel it deep within.

Earlier in the week when I posted the 10 best things about losing weight, a comment appeared including cheek bones. I smiled, quickly replied and added collar bones. I remember noticing mine for the first time. Truth be told, I kinda like it when mine stick out. I know that concept probably pushes me very close to the edge of an unhealthy diet mentality, but I still find it quite satisfying.

As I thought this morning about a time that my collar bones stuck out, I also tried to remember what was different in my head? Why didn’t this gig seem to be as big of a deal then as I make it now?

I felt completely and utterly overwhelmed a hundred pounds ago. When I finally decided fully acknowledge and do something about the fact that my weight was out of control, I really saw it as a last ditch effort before I contemplated surgery. Honestly, I didn’t think I could lose 100 pounds, but I knew I could lose 10. God knows I lost that a time or two (or 50) over the course of my life as I filled the role of Ultimate Dieter.

What if I went back to that concept? I don’t need to lament over the slippage or a number on the scale or the way my pants feel or the dimples in my ass. I simply need to focus on positive daily in order to see the number go down and the waistband of my pants get bigger. Nothing radical, nothing good or bad, no pressure, just movement forward. To add a special twist, that attitude begins today, not tomorrow and especially not on Monday!

My mental time out is over….what have you been waiting on?


6 Responses

  1. I gave you a blog award yesterday:)

  2. That question really popped out at me, “What have you been waiting on?”

    I don’t know. The first thing that comes to mind is I’m waiting for everyone and thing to go away so I can focus. That’s not rational at all (nor do I want everyone to go away…at least not permanently). But it does tell me I need to prioritize and put myself higher on the list.

    Thought-provoking post.

  3. Karen – thanks! I’ll check it out on your blog….I gotta get on the bandwagon with this stuff!

    Gina – I agree with you – sometimes I just want peace and quiet to focus. Then it makes me feel guilty that I want them to all go away. I suppose when I’m truly taking care of me, that doesn’t play as big a part…I’m trying to get realigned and find my balance again.

  4. I just sent you an email with instructions. Let me know if you don’t get it or they don’t work.

  5. I think you’ve got the right idea – focus on putting healthy habits into place one day at a time, otherwise it seems too overwhelming.

    P.S. I love your blog!

  6. I am waiting…wearing shorts. I always have such a bad attitude (stick out your tongue style) with my body. I am waiting for my body to be this or that so I can wear shorts and a tank top in summer.

    But, I bought shorts this weekend. I guess that means I might have to wear them…

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