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Order In The Court


As I sat this morning writing in my journal, I looked around and thought about all the shit I want to throw out in my house. Lyle and Russell accuse me of tossing their crap all the time. I admit that on occasion I’ve been known to swoop and toss when I can’t stand the clutter anymore.

I like my furniture, sans the hair-dye stain on the back of the couch (Wouldn’t you like to know how that got there?), but the messes make me feel very out of control. I dream of fresh starts and clean slates… new paint, new floors, and I’d love it to walk in and find a TLC crew in my house giving it – well at least the living room – a makeover.

I hate stuff lying all over the place. When my house is a wreck, I want to move, but not before I strangle everyone residing there. My family says I’m over reactive and I have unrealistic expectations.

All I want is the crap off the floor and clear counter tops. That doesn’t feel like too much to ask. We have cleaning help come in twice a month, and while I would love to have her weekly, that’s not in the budget. I figure we can do a quick 20-minute tidy on the off week and we are good to go.

We can’t come to a good resolution in the Fast household. I live with two pigs that could easily live in a cave, poop on the floor, cook meat over a fire and be perfectly content, until they need to find keys or a cell phone… I look at picking the stuff up as a way to help keep us running smoothly. You be the judge.

These pictures are pretty typical. The counter is in our kitchen. Yea, I admit, my shit is on there too. The chair is where Russell hangs out to do homework and the mess is often times bigger. The only time it shrinks is when I climb on his ass to clean it up.

Would any of this bother you? Do you have a place in your house like this – when the company isn’t around? Do I need to back off? Do I need to kick the Neanderthals out of my house and live in solitary confinement to have a tidy place? I’m pulling my hair out here. Do you have any suggestions?

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4 Responses

  1. OMG!!! I hate, hate clutter and my husband and boys are all about clutter. It drives me insane. I tried to at least corral it to certain areas. The area around my teen’s chair at the table and the chair it self and the table top… littered with stuff. (And we won’t talk about his room.) But what really gets me is my husbands sprawl. I have tried for years to explain the stress I feel with the clutter on the kitchen counter and how mess begets more mess. Now I try to ignore it. But you better believe that on the rare occasions he leaves town, my kitchen counter tops are clear!!!

    Let me know if you figure out how to get yours to toe the line… and I will try it too:)

    Oh I could go on and on here.

  2. Your kitchen counter looks like mine. Yes, it bothers me. But, just as you also admitted, some of it is yours (and some of ours is usually mine). I don’t like it. I wish it were different. I just make everyone else help me de-clutter before company comes over so that I don’t feel like I am the only one doing it. Fortunately we have other counter space for meal preparation. If I didn’t, I probably wouldn’t let it pile up for as long as I do.

    Sorry I can’t be of much help.

  3. Jennifer you are help…just knowing I’m not the only one! I got everything tidied up last night when I returned from work – 10 hours later it still looks good – of course we were all sleeping!

  4. Karen,
    I’m beginning to wonder if we were twins split at birth! Holy cow the similarities are crazy – sounds like the men in your house are about the same as mine….gotta love ’em, can’t shoot ’em. 🙂

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