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Turn The Channel

I channeled Jim Morrison of the Doors last night in my dreams.

I woke up a little while ago, and I’m well into the second cup of coffee, and the haze still hasn’t lifted. I can barely remember how to use a keyboard let alone string a coherent thought together.

I’m blaming it on hormones. Men, don’t tune out just yet. You may be needed later to offer real perspective. I can use all the help I can get at this point.

In a nutshell, my period is SCREWED up. I’ve never had a normal cycle, but they were somewhat regulated by the pill. What the hell is with that marketing strategy? Whatever, it must work because the same connotation cannot be drawn from “the toilet” or “the husband.”

“Her” is the only thing that comes close right now. I’m sure my husband and son are leading that branding effort.

“Dude, if you know what’s good for you, give HER some space.”

After Russell was born, the irregularity and mood swings were so intense I began to track my cycle just to see if an explanation existed for at least some of the crazies. A pattern presented and still does, but is that me making an excuse to be a bitch or does some physiological component exist?

Lyle told me three days ago that I was getting ready to start. “That’s ridiculous. It’s only day 15,” I grunted. He grabbed his hardhat and snuck out of the room. Whatever. It really pisses me off that he is more in tune with it than me. I suppose it’s a survival mechanism.

I feel bad for the guy, really. I don’t even like being in my own skin hearing the venom spew from my mouth. I would like to escape if I could so I harbor no ill will that he wants to run. “Just protect the boy, take him with you. I’ll call in a couple days when it’s safe to return.”

Everything was in line a few months ago after a string of acupuncture treatments. Did I elude myself to believe that the problem was solved? I began again so hopefully MaryAnne will be able to work her magic once again. Is there a way I can just walk around with needles poking out of my head 24/7. I’m quite convinced that the idea has merit.

In the meantime…if anyone has any advice, bring it on…


2 Responses

  1. Hormones are like men – can’t live with them, can’t live without them! But just think how lucky you and I are that we are the only hormonal bitches in our homes – no teen daughters to deal with:)

  2. Yeah, we hosted an exchange student a few years ago – a girl – whew, changed the whole dynamic. I also got a taste of what it was like living with me…can’t say it was all that exciting!

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