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These early morning drop offs and late night pickups, to and from school and lacrosse, are messing with the peaceful workings of the Fast household.

Lyle handled the shuttle service last week, but he took vacation earlier this week so I had to step up to the plate. Taking both shifts makes it extremely difficult to find time for exercise. I rise at 5:15 a.m. to write, walk the dog and shower. I’m not prepared to push the alarm clock back any further to hop on my exercise bike and the idea holds even less allure at 9 p.m.

The YWCA offers a variety of classes and it is a quick detour from my office to the car. During the fitness craze of the late eighties, I decided to take an aerobics class, but I got very distracted contemplating the number of quarters one might bounce off the instructor’s taut ass. I also found the experience intimidating. I didn’t want to feel like I needed to drop 20 pounds before I walked into the damn studio. Wasn’t that the point of being there?

A few years ago, I took a yoga class nearby. I thought that was doable. I was so proud of myself that I got past the discomfort that someone might mock my big fatty as I assumed the downward-facing dog position. I liked the solitude and inner reflection of yoga, but then the instructor tried to be everything to everyone. It got to be a very social event with some and there were lots of whispers and snickers. Were they laughing at my dimply thighs? It was too much for my inner chubby girl to handle.

On occasion I contemplate group workouts again. Part of me wonders if it would be a good way to confront body image issues. Perhaps I need to stop looking for a sign from above and look at the one straight ahead and walk through the door once and for all.


One Response

  1. My favorite thing about aerobics classes is that someone else is in charge. I am in charge of myself and others almost all the time and I’m okay with that. But I love the aerobics where someone else is that motivating voice in my head for once. It creates a great mental space that this introvert loves.

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