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No More Surcharges

The transition from part time to full time is going pretty well. Of course this is only Day 3, and tonight I came home wishing I had a couple more hours to my day.

I think this may be an unusual week though. I’ve had two evening meetings and Russell’s lacrosse practice just started so nights are crazy. I’m a little worried about the dog too. I’ve been taking her for a 30-minute walk in the morning, but beagles have lots of energy – way more than the rest of us in the house at 8:30 p.m. I hope we can work that out.

During this new phase, Lyle really stepped up to the plate. He has always pulled his fair share, but he is getting a taste of event planner, taxi and short order cook. I think I get a little too much pleasure from that right now, but don’t tell him. He and Russell seem to be getting along just fine. Perhaps all my kibitzing wasn’t nearly as helpful as I imagined.

While I liked my old job and told myself it was good fit for our family, I think it scrunched me in ways, which wasn’t healthy. Funny, I didn’t recognize it, but perhaps on some level I knew and that is why I was so damn bitchy all the time.

I’m really tired this week, and I admit that I miss my day off mid week. Lyle laughed when I told him I needed a day off, but he didn’t even rub it in – didn’t have to with the hearty chuckle he couldn’t suppress. I laughed too.

Laughing, it’s what our family is doing now. Is that what was missing? How can things be busier in our family, but calmer? I didn’t really think that would be possible with me going back to full time work, and again, this is only Day 3, but somehow we are all engaged in something that brings personal fulfillment and sharing with each other along the way.

Lyle and Russell take off in the morning, and I walk the dog while they are getting ready to go. Russell manages to gather his shit without me nipping at his heels. Any help I thought I provided cost considerably more than it was worth given the fact that each token he cashed in was accompanied with a bitch surcharge.

Hmmmm…that isn’t so pleasant to acknowledge.

The new job brings changes, but it makes me look at actions and my life from a different perspective to see if it aligns with what our family holds dear – each other. That is what life is supposed to be about. Obligations are what? Necessary? Yea, whatever, but I believe that we all need to find and act upon what we are truly designed to pursue. Does that make sense?

I never bought into pre-destiny. Maybe it’s not so much about the PRE part, but following the blips, bliss or whatever we choose to call them. As I concentrate on taking care of myself on a deeper sense, it also affects the interactions I have with myself and others in my life.


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