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Don’t Skip Ahead

So many changes coming… I’m trying to be patient with myself, but based on my eating habits lately, I think there is room for improvement.

Yesterday was my last day at my old job – it was sad and exciting. After work I went out with some coworkers for a drink, which was a great send off. The unexpected gift certificate to Coldwater Creek was pretty cool too.

I have a week between jobs, and I’m leaving my men behind to go hang with my mom for a few days. We don’t often get the chance for complete and utter girl time so I’m sure I’ll come back hoarse from all the talking. My stepdad is always amazed at how much we yak, but rarely repeat a conversation. My mom is my friend, my cheerleader and one who will kick me in the pants when I need it. I treasure her deeply and feel blessed that she’s in my life.

She and I are a lot alike, and I guess I’m finally grown up enough to be proud of that fact. She’s been a great role model, mostly by example, but sometimes it’s good to see the things I struggle with play out in her. We are both pretty hard on ourselves – we expect a lot. It’s not bad to hold high expectations, but when you lose sleep or eat entire chocolate cakes because you can’t achieve perfection, you know that it is time to reevaluate.

When my sister was in high school algebra or geometry, she came home one day crying that she had no idea how to solve the problems in the last chapter of the book. It was September mind you and our mom calmly said, “Of course you don’t know how to do the problems at the end of the book, but you will by the time you get there.”

It is such a simple concept and so profound at the same time. I find that most things can be accomplished with a little research, a lot of hard work and healthy dose of determination. It works… I may not know the answer right now, but give me a minute and I’ll find one.

Sometimes though, I catch myself skimming the back of the book yearning to be the instructor of the class, and that’s when intimidation sets in. For me, it manifests in some pretty unhealthy eating patterns.

When I lost weight, I realized I had some “issues.” Big surprise that my weight had very little to do with the fact that I liked glazed donuts. With a lot of reflection and the help of a good mental mechanic, I learned about myself and my coping mechanisms, which helped me design a new plan of attack.

I wish I could say that I never use food to cope, but I recognize that some habits are really hard to banish. I experienced a good 30 years of binging as I covered up feelings with food. The good news is now I recognize the signs and quickly put plans in place to get back on track – the first of which is I shut the damn geometry book.


2 Responses

  1. Great post. I’m glad you’re going to see your mom and that you’re so close. She sounds like a very wise woman. I love especially that you said “sometimes it’s good to see the things I struggle with play out in her. ” I have a similar relationship with my daughters and at their ages now they are seeing me in light of their struggles, too, and I think that’s what makes us such good friends. I wasn’t their friend when they were in school. I used to tell them, “I don’t tell my friends when to come home at night or ground them when they misbehave. I love you guys more than a friend.” Anyway, now I’m rambling, but know that this post really struck home. Have a great time with your mom!

  2. Thanks. I can’t wait! I’m glad you have a good relationship with your daughters as well. My mom is probably my dearest friend and I get so excited when we can spend time together. I fully realize that few mothers and daughters share that kind of bond, and I appreciate it totally. We went though lots of “schtuff,” but it is great to know we came through it stronger than ever.

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