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Tell Me June Is Coming

Hmmm, the Extra is gone, but I can see a fork and chopsticks - not good.


I’m tired of the snow. I want green grass, singing birds and margaritas on my back porch.

Stick a fork in me; turn me over; I’m done! I don’t know what happened. I used to love the snow, and yes, I survived the blizzard of ‘78. The first time I saw that fan club pop up on Facebook, it brought a reminiscent smile to my face. Now, all I can remember is tromping back in the wood to feed cows that were too stupid to come to the barn when the snow started falling, or being trapped in a house with three heavy smokers who ran out of cigs on day two. Yea, that was pleasant.

As I see the numbers on the Facebook fan club rise, I wonder if there are others who feel as squirrely as me right now.

We’re not prepared for this kind of weather in central Ohio. I know I should feel lucky that I don’t have to traipse to work – that will soon change as my snow days go bye-bye when I switch jobs. However, I’m irritated that my schedule gets mixed up. Whatever Melissa, let go of the control.

Lyle loves the snow. He spent all afternoon yesterday shoveling. When there was a lull and he caught up, he went to our neighbors and shoveled her drive. Sometimes I help, but he complains at the way I stack the snow. Who knew there was a proper technique? I just want the shit moved out of the way so I can escape from my kitchen.

I don’t have any more wiggle room in my pants for yet another arctic blast. The table beside my chair now resembles a Highlights Magazine picture search, and I can’t say that my mind reflects anything different. Combine the two, and it is all I can do to stay away from the snack cabinet.

I have a stack of books that I’ve been waiting to read, but so far not one spine has been cracked. I guess I find it more entertaining to bitch at my family…like it’s their fault that we’re trapped here together. Hmmm, no wonder Lyle spends so many long hours shoveling. Here, I thought he liked the snow.

Is there anything that keeps you centered on days like these?

I have been bundling up and going outside, but that only lasts so long. I must embrace the day, breathe deeply and send the hag packing. Wish me luck.

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