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Cup O’ Joe Anyone?

Lyle’s beeper went off at 3:50 a.m. this morning, and that’s when my slumber ended.

I generally fall asleep fairly easily, but if something makes me stir or worse yet if someone snoring like the Jolly Green Giant after a night of sucking down Long Island Ice Teas wakes me, my mind races. I mostly lay there thinking about ways to strangle Jolly without drawing attention to myself. Could I toss tiny tender peas down his gaping mouth until he can no longer maintain his airway? I don’t know how the man speaks most days – his throat has to be irritated as a result of his nighttime symphony.

Lyle might also suffer from a mild case of narcolepsy. I’m convinced that if he is prone for more than two seconds, he’s out until morning. I’ve tried to get him to see a doctor since I’m also fairly certain he has sleep apnea, but he has no desire to spend the night in a sleep lab. I, on the other hand, imagine it would be a dreamy place to get a good night’s sleep.

I lay in bed consciously trying to clear my mind. Ooops, there’s a thought and another and another… Next thing I know, my alarm summons me to rise, and I’m pissed that I stayed there for the last hour and a half. I could have gotten out of bed and done something productive like pick lint from the dryer filter. That seems like a perfect chore for 4 a.m.

Each time this happens, which has been fairly frequently, I think that it will be different. I will myself back to sleep, but 5 a.m. finds me with droopy eyelids making a quick beeline to the coffee maker.

I know people who routinely function on four hours of sleep. I’m not one of them. I can go a night, maybe two, but after that nobody wants to be around me, including me. When sleep eludes me, java always brings me joy, but I have a feeling that it is complicating the issue.

I deleted caffeine from my diet once about seven years ago, but as soon as I read it contained antioxidants, I pulled into a Starbucks and ordered a latte as big as my head. I’ve never looked back so I’m not excited about trying to eliminate it again. Can’t a girl hold onto just one evil addiction? After all, I meditate fairly regularly, eat healthy, limit sugar and alcohol, don’t smoke and exercise most days of the week. I think I deserve to drink a gallon of coffee if that gives me a few ya-yas.

Today I managed to avoid a catheter filled with the high-energy happy juice so hopefully sleep will find me this evening. What helps you fall asleep and stay there?


5 Responses

  1. Hi Melissa,

    I always have to have a book when I’m trying to go to sleep. My brain just doesn’t want to shut down to sleep so if I’m reading a book it makes me concentrate on just that and most of the time poof I’m sleeping. It seems to me after all the running and exercise you have been doing you would be exhausted each night. Love you. 🙂

    Brinnie 🙂

  2. Books are a good idea. I haven’t been reading before bed in a while, but I used to do it all the time. I slept beautifully last night so I feel much better. I have a feeling the caffeine plays a role. Both yesterday and today, I skipped the afternoon java and I feel like I’m ready to snooze.

    Hope you are doing well. January is almost over – wooo hooo!

  3. Hey Melissa, praying is what helps me when I am laying in bed awake. As I start speaking to the Lord, it relaxes me and I fall asleep. I have heard that your brain will continue doing whatever you were doing when you fell asleep. So, it sounds good to me. Can I be praying all night long? Also, it is hard, and a goal that I have not successfully accomplished; but I have a goal of waking up with a word of Thanksgiving to our Lord. When I am able to do this, it sure makes a difference in my day!!! And, yes, I have learned to cut back on caffeine.
    Have a blessed day!

  4. “Traditional Medicines” brand of chamomile tea. They say they actually measure the amount of cham in a bag. I do find that lots of popular store brands of cham tea don’t do much for me. Maybe the placebo effect? But it works for me. I make a short cup of it close to bedtime.

    I found some time ago that I had to limit my caffeine to no later than 3-4 PM…and only green tea after the AM hit of black tea…so that’s lots less caffeine than coffee and I still have to watch it now. Didn’t when I was young/er. I don’t like coffee, but I know some folks drink half-caffeine and half de-caf after the morning regular hit.

    Of course, I’m pretty non-traditional…I don’t sleep with the snorer. I’ve said for a long time that you can have sex anytime,anywhere…but when it comes to SLEEPING at 4AM…I gotta have my own room!!!


    is it kosher to add these comments after a few days? I don’t read anything on a daily basis???

  5. MaryAnne – It is completely fine to add comments after a few days. I always go back and read them, and I couldn’t agree more…I love my hubby dearly, but I get my best sleep when I’m the only one in the bed!

    The last two days I haven’t had any caffeine after noon, and I slept like a baby… today is the same and feels like it may result the same. I think I’m finally realizing I really am pretty sensitive to the caffeine…bummer, I really enjoy it.

    Thanks for the tip on Chamomile tea. I’ll check it out.

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