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Bring Out Big Guns

What should I do with these?

I hit the clearance racks yesterday at the mall and at Marshall’s. I love finding designer-label items with four stickers glued to the tag with a big yellow one on top with the corners peeled away from being shuffled around the store for the previous seven weeks.

My best find was a black Evan Picone party dress for $20. I plan to wear it for a spring soiree. I’m always shopping for this particular event at the last minute, which doesn’t lend well if I want a dress that is cheap and stylish.

Now, the dilemma is my arms and shoulders. Yes, they look better than they did 100 pounds ago, but I’m not ready to reveal them in a crowd where Botox may be more prevalent than acrylic nails and smiles.

I’m sure a personal trainer could turn my flabby batwings into great guns. I may not be ready for the Arnold Classic in three months, but I also don’t want to feel like I should encase my torso in a shawl to navigate around the buffet table. Besides, I need a free hand to hold a glass of wine and grab some high-end version of the cocktail weenie while I schmooze.

I don’t have endless funds to hire a personal trainer, but what I do have is an exercise ball, a few free weights, some elastic bands and a rotator cuff in which I need to show a little love due to an old injury.

I have been doing about 150 sit ups on the ball accompanied by a few other resistance exercises, which have helped quite a bit, but I would love to kick ass.

My upper body has always been fairly presentable so I think three months will give me time to make some noticeable change if I can find an effective workout. Thank God, the dress has a flared skirt so it will provide a little camouflage to my gut and thighs. If I had to whip Gertie and the girls into shape in three months, we would have a whole other set of problems.

This is where I need your help. If you or someone you know can give me some specific suggestions, I would really appreciate the pointers.

What have you found works and yields the best results. If you are a complete couch potato, perhaps you know someone who can help a girl out?

And to Bob…yes, this means I’m open to burpees, but I need a beginning regimen.

Hell, if I see good results, maybe this will give me the courage to kick Gertie and her friends to the curb once and for all.

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2 Responses

  1. How are open are you to assisted pullups using something that looked like a big rubber band? (These have done a nice job of changing the shape of Penny’s arms and such, and she’s older than both of us with neck and knee problems!) The shape of my shoulders have changed a lot in the past year, but most of that is from shoulder press and related barbell exercises over my head. I also have struggled with weak and or “suspect” shoulders so I focus on working them back in safely.

    Another option would be something like a 10# Kettlebell to slowly rehab and build shoulder mobility via “Turkish Getups” or “Windmills”. (a lite dumbbell MAY work also)

    Not sure how open to CrossFit (www.crossfit.com) you are, but there is a site called BrandX that “scales or substitutes” the CrossFit workouts so that they work for mortals like us. Even going back through their posted workouts will give you ideas of things you might like to try or incorporate.
    http://www.crossfitbrandx.com/index.php/forums/viewforum/16/

    Take a look at the free PDF download from a friend’s site… the kettlebell info may be good educational info for you to see what works or appeals to you.
    http://www.next-step-conditioning-systems.com/killer-kettlebell-body-in-bainbridge-island.html

    Not sure what will trip your trigger, but those are some initial insights from a fellow struggler on a similar journey! I probably have more thoughts, but don’t want to open up like a fire hydrant…. lol

  2. What are assisted pull ups and how do I do them? Same goes for Turkish Getups and Windmills. I’ll also check out the links you provided. Thanks

    How much time do you spend working out – that is another consideration. I think I need to be more productive in the time that I have. I can generally find 40 minutes most days, maybe even an hour, but I’m not willing to fork over much more than that…so I don’t know how realistic I’m being.

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