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The Bar-b-que Is Cancelled

Anyone have an extra shovel?


Take the baked beans out of the oven and turn off the grill. We have to postpone the little outdoor gathering due to a slight weather inconvenience.

The six inches of snow we got yesterday definitely affected today’s agenda, and I can’t say I was overly excited about the idea. Many of you know that I work in the school where my son attends. I think I was the only one yesterday in the entire building who was praying that we DIDN’T have a snow day today.

I don’t work on Fridays. It’s not that I wanted something for myself that my coworkers didn’t get, but I really didn’t want my day disrupted by the fact that my son would be home. Is that evil? I had my day planned, and I didn’t want any distractions. Oh well, I suppose flexibility is a good thing.

The falling snow is pretty, but that new spring green is more appealing. Close your eyes and envision that moment in late May when you look up and realize that gentle lime hue morphed into deep forest green seemingly overnight. Add a margarita to the mix and you can almost feel the warm sunny rays.

I tell myself that I really don’t mind winter. That the true problem revolves around the fact I live in an area of the country where people become paralyzed by a little frosty precipitation. I give good lip service and even say that things would be dandy if I lived in a place that regularly received large amounts of snow because everyone is accustomed to it. But I really don’t want to grab my down-filled coat and snow boots and head out for a backwoods hike. A better way to spend my time includes a gallon of hot homemade cocoa, three dozen donuts fresh from the deep fryer and a pair of thick cotton sweats. Toss in a few good books, and I might just make it until the spring thaw.

I wonder if places that experience colder climates see higher rates of obesity. Haven’t we evolved beyond the need to eat for hibernation survival? I made a chocolate pie last night and nearly buried my head in it. Thankfully it was low-cal, but any overeating sends some pretty disturbing messages to my brain.

Forecasters are predicting a colder than normal January, which translates to more snow and longer periods of cabin fever. I suppose snow is better than rain; however, I need a plan of action that doesn’t involve chocolate pie if I’m going to make it through without bursting through my long underwear. Maybe I can stick mittens on my hands 24/7. They hamper my dexterity, which would at least slow me down, and the crap I manage to cram in my mouth would get fuzzy stuff stuck to it. However, I could persuade myself into spinning that as added fiber.

Maybe duct tape is the answer – a roll for my hands and one for my mouth.

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