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The Day After

Thanksgiving dinner went pretty well. I enjoyed the meal without needing to unbutton my pants and roll around on the floor cursing the gods for overeating. That’s a good thing, right? I stumbled a bit on the desserts, but mostly everything went well.

What worked? I got at the end of the buffet line so I wouldn’t be finished with Round 1 before everyone else. I fixed a plate with a big salad and turkey, and then I took SMALL (too small actually) bites of noodles, mashed potatoes and corn casserole. I earned an A+ for dinner. The hiccup came at the dessert table. Any freaking time there is a TABLE devoted to sweet things, there is going to be a knock down if I’m in the room.

Things progressed nicely at first – sliver of pumpkin, pecan and cream pies, and a little serving of cherry delight. All said, I probably had the equivalent of one piece of pie on my plate at that point. But, I made the mistake of tasting the brownies – big chunks of chocolate and walnuts. Now that I think of it, I don’t think I’ve ever had a bad brownie. I even like those stupid Little Debbie brownies with the fake frosting.

I still feel pretty good about the day. We left my dad’s house, and no one had to plop my comatose body into the front seat of our car, which very nearly could have happened in years past. I climbed in of my accord, and at no point did I wish I had worn elastic sweat pants. That is a victory my friends.

I woke up this morning and decided to give Black Friday a shot. I didn’t do the 4 a.m. curtain call, but I think Lyle might have on his way to work this morning. I can’t quite figure how a man who hates crowds and shopping as much as he does wants to navigate that mess. I don’t have what it takes – nothing in the stores is so appealing that I would want to stand in the check-out line for 30 minutes or more.

I talked to a couple frazzled clerks and gave them words of encouragement. As I debated about getting a pair of shearling boots, I heard two of the women who were trying to help me talking about how hungry they were. I ended up leaving the store and coming back with some glazed almonds I bought for them in one of the kiosks in the middle of the mall. It felt good to do something nice for other people, and they seemed pleasantly surprised.

I wondered around the mall for a while and then hit a couple other stores on my way home. The only thing I bought was a pair of slippers, but I did manage to use the bathroom in four of the stores. Why is it that my bladder is the only small thing on my body?


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