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Creeping Crud

OK now everyone in our house is sick. This crud must be incredibly contagious because I am the queen of prevention of infectious disease.

People used to laugh at me in the 80s – thought I might have a little Obsessive Compulsive Disorder because I liked to wash my hands and habitually bleached my counters. Well, who’s laughing now? Actually, since I became a pseudo tree hugger, I decreased my use of bleach, but my hands remain chapped from frequent hand washing.

By the end of the weekend, we all exhibited symptoms of H1N1, and everything on http://www.flu.gov indicated that we should go to the doctor. I also know that antiviral medications might be available for Lyle and Russell since they appear to be in the early stages of the illness.

Well, let me save you some time if you get sick. Stay away from the doctor’s office unless you are dying because that’s where all the hacking flu freaks are congregating. They’re setting up big parties – passing out Hall’s Cough Drops and surgical masks as they spew their contaminated sputum through the air. Holy cow, like I need to be any sicker than I already am!

I drug my previously quarantined family out to the doctor so she could tell us that she is no longer testing for the flu because she is getting too many “negatives” from people who are clearly exhibiting the symptoms of H1N1. And the Tamiflu? Forget it unless you have a raging fever. Basically, since we have healthy immune systems, we need to stay home and rest so we don’t spread the crud. DUH!

Had the morons on the CDC website just posted that, all would have been good. But no! I had to make an appointment with the doctor because that is what I do – follow directions. There, I said it, I’m a rule follower. I may like to think I’m a rebel, but deep down when someone who I see as an authority, who MIGHT know more than me tells me to do something, I do it. Why I thought I should follow the lead of some stupid bureaucrat trying to cover his ass because of this flu fiasco is beyond me. Fever must have fogged my brain.

Well, no more. I’m feeling better now. Don’t worry, I’m still planning on staying home, but you will not see me anywhere near a hospital or doctor’s office any time soon. I still need to get a seasonal flu shot so I gotta figure out where I’m going to get that. I tried CVS, and they were out, and the clinic at work was cancelled because they couldn’t get enough of the vaccine. I’m having a hard time locating a supply – except at the doctor’s office. If that’s my only choice, I’ll take my chances with this year’s strain of the flu because H1N1 only knocked me down for a couple days and then left me with a feisty streak that I kinda like.

Stay healthy. Tip of the day – cough or sneeze into your arm (not your hand), which leads me to the next pointer; you may want to embrace the Japanese greeting of bowing.

Oh, and by the way, I’m not a doctor, nor do I play one on TV so my opinion is mine and mine alone – Lyle made me add this. Peace out!

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