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Living In The Middle

What is it that I need?

I don’t always know. Sure I have to do lists everywhere reminding me of all the things that need attention, but taking care of myself rarely gets recorded on any of the bits of paper scattered around my house; however, sometimes accomplishing my standard duties puts me in a better place where I can consider my needs.

When I feel overwhelmed by all the stuff spinning around my household screaming for me to notice, it is difficult to focus on what may be at the center of my being. Too much competition exists to see past the pile of dirty laundry. Does that make sense?

I found myself recently in a state of procrastination. I pretended I was taking care of my needs, but mostly I sat around watching the clock move from one hour to the next and then wondering why nothing got accomplished.

The household tasks mounted and I ignored and then avoided them. I’m not even sure what happened to the time, but it disappeared nonetheless. Last Friday, I decided to change.

As I created a new list of chores, alongside all the crappy stuff, I added things that truly fed my soul, which I had also previously ignored. Writing and reading fill me up, so does taking a walk in the sunshine or even riding my exercise bike. I realized that I missed these things, and I know they help me keep emotional eating at bay. I alternated checking these things off the list as I performed some of the other not-so-fun odd jobs.

I found at the end of the day, I made it through the vast majority of the list, and the sense of accomplishment reminded me how much more time I really have when I take care of my needs as well as some of the things that haunt me around the house. My energy level increased – imagine that.

I can procrastinate my days away, but to what end? It simply makes me curse time when perhaps I really just need to manage it a little more wisely.

Living in one extreme or the other brings a lot of negativity, which I have no use. I banish slugdom and over programming and opt instead for a little moderation.


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