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I Appreciate…

I’m not sure which comes first, cravings or bad attitude. Perhaps it is irrelevant because combined they cause me a great deal of grief. When I turn to food, it is no secret that something is eating me. People can argue that the battle of the bulge is only about the food; however, my experience leads me to different conclusions.

From my perspective, emotional eating and weight fluctuations have absolutely nothing to do with physical hunger. It revolves around the fact that my needs fall to the bottom of the to do list. I found out a long time ago to maintain my sanity and this weight loss, I must nurture my inner being.

I move along great for weeks, even months, and it amazes me how quickly things teeter off balance. I’m aware of this so I’m diligent in keeping a watchful eye. I maintain a multi-tiered weight management approach with emotional and physical needs being equal.

The physical part is often the least complicated. It is a simple in vs. out calculation with calories. I know what is healthy, what I need to limit. But the emotional program often challenges me the most.

Every day I used to write down three things that I appreciated about my life and family. It centered me, but I can’t remember the last time I performed the task. The interesting thing is the longer I go, the more difficult it is to think of something positive. Like today, the first thing I could come up with is that Russell and Lyle rinsed out the sink after brushing their teeth, and I had to give it some thought to come up with that!

I doubt any clarity comes from determining the exact moment this habit failed to appear in my daily routine; however, I would guess the timing is in close proximity to my entrance into the sugar shack.

I also used to employ a similar tactic at work that helped me recognize the positive. Every week I gave someone a specific compliment about how they performed their job. It was pointed and direct.

This instantly reminded of why we were all there. I began the practice several years ago after seeing someone as upset as I felt at that moment in time. I realized that we were all connected and perhaps our sum really was worth more than our single parts. The acknowledgement brightened the other person’s day and brought me joy for doing a good thing for another human being. This practice is something else that hasn’t made it to the top of my list…seems to take too much time.

I realize that I have been traveling a less than positive path. It isn’t a black hole, but it is a little dreary. This monotony blocks my creativity, and when that happens, it shows up in the form of a bad attitude, which pushes me to search for satisfaction in other places, like the cookie jar.

So today, I appreciate the fact that I recognize the need to tweak my behavior a bit. I appreciate the fact that I am married to a man who gives me the space to be me without trying to change me… God knows I could use a little transformation, and I’m thankful that my 14-year-old son is a self-motivated, creative soul. We all have our health for today, and I will embrace that as well.



2 Responses

  1. I appreciate your writings and honesty.

  2. It seems like so much work sometimes…I try to live authentically, but to be truly mindful is very challenging. I don’t know if I will ever get there, but perhaps that isn’t the point.

    In the meantime…I will admit my blunders and hopefully learn along the way.

    Take care!

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