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Passing Grade?

I knew waiting around for the MRI results for the next few days would necessitate extra diligence about my food choices. Time passed fairly uneventfully until yesterday afternoon, but I unraveled a bit by the end of the day.

I started strong, but a work thing, that included ice cream and cookies, lasted a little longer than I anticipated. I ate a snack before the event, but I planned to sneak out to grab a quick healthy lunch before the next festivity. It didn’t work out that way; as I savored some ice cream, I noticed that I snarfed the cookie down like a hungry dog. I got my fingers out of the way just in time, but I failed to heed the warning.

Sometimes I think I should be perfect at this weight management gig. Much of the time eating healthy and taking care of myself is second nature. I’ve had a lot of practice after three years at goal. I think that is pretty damn spectacular. It is the longest period in my adult life that I’ve been at a healthy weight. Yet, I misstep on occasion, and at some point yesterday I decided that my mouth was the perfect venue for the next party.

I failed to adequately prepare for a really hectic day after a week of extreme stress. Is it any wonder I bungled an assignment? Instead of thinking about all the things I did wrong, I’m going to focus on the positives…I ate one cookie. I skipped the guacamole at Chipotle and threw away a big chunk of my burrito. I ate reasonable portions at an impromptu barbeque, including the peach cobbler. I resisted the urge to take dessert home for Russell, when I knew it wouldn’t make it through the front door. Finally, I brushed my teeth after the graham crackers and Nutella instead of heading directly to the snack cabinet for an encore.

Yea, I know I ate too much, and I briefly gave into emotional eating. I blundered, but it is not the end of the world. Critical Melissa says I know better than to allow an afternoon and evening like that to happen, but if I continue to listen to her, the guilt will become unbearable, and I increase my chances of finding myself in a similar predicament today.

Thankfully, the Good One arrives. She reminds me that I have struggled with food and weight since I was 12-years-old. Three years looking like I have it completely together cannot always withstand the pressure compared to the years of situations I self-medicated with food. I know that cramming food down my pie hole does nothing to make me feel better or forget underlying stress, but every once in a while I feel the need to put it to the test.

One bad quiz grade does not doom me for the final exam. This gig is a case study. I don’t think I will ever find all the answers, but that’s o.k. What I learn along the way will give me enough information to make it worth taking the class.


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