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Mindless Lazy Equals Trouble

Sitting around doing nothing only seems like a good idea. I woke yesterday to rain, lots of rain. I kept waiting for it to clear, but a steady stream poured from the sky the entire day. It was one of those days that I thought I wanted to just curl up with a good book.

I checked off my to-do list, well some of it. I still had a stack of papers to go through from the Antioch Writers’ Workshop that I attended last week, but I wasn’t ready to put a lid on that and call it finished. I wrote some, tidied the house, and threw in a couple loads of laundry. I really didn’t want to go anywhere, but I had an inkling if I stayed at home I would want to snack my day away. I tried to make a lunch date, then two, but nothing materialized.

I thought about baking. I used to love to bake, and I’m pretty good at it. Fresh cookie dough, warm cookies, whole milk, no witnesses. Well Russell was here, but I’m sure he wouldn’t have minded helping me out with the task at hand. My family misses the fact that I don’t bake much anymore, but I can’t have the stuff in my house.

That’s when I hopped on my exercise bike. It was a poor substitution for gooey Tollhouse chocolate chip cookies, but it was what I really needed. Being grown-up and responsible sucks. The bike got me through the first rough patch, but what about dinner?

Thankfully, a chicken laid waiting in the fridge. I took her out and crammed a lemon and a few twigs of rosemary into her nether regions and popped her in the oven. I pulled beets and carrots from the garden, tossed with a little olive oil, more rosemary, salt and pepper and the feast was an hour away. I picked lettuce and cucumbers and the salad was ready to go.

I love that dinner was made from all things we grew, well except for the chicken. I have bad memories surrounding a chicken butchering fiasco as a kid. I’ll share the story sometime. It definitely will make you appreciate the little Styrofoam containers with neatly dressed legs and thighs waiting under the florescent lights of the meat cooler.

The meal helped satisfy me, and I’m glad I took the time to take care of me and my family. I still wanted to eat the house, but acknowledging the feeling and employing some avoidance strategies helped get me through the lazy day.

I guess it’s really only the IDEA of doing nothing that sounds appealing. When I give into mindless lazy, it generally translates to eating without abandon.

I’m at a point that I need to be diligent. I see a comfortable spot, and I have the tendency to relax my resolve and then all hell breaks loose. The next thing I know, I’m laying down on the bed to zip my pants. It feels good to realize that, and I just want to keep honing in on the positive.

I’ve backed down a bit with the number on the scale, and I’m focused on making good choices. Surprisingly enough when I practice good behaviors, the rest takes care of itself.

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