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Aromatic Lessons

The party my son had for his lacrosse team was a resounding success. I thought I might be crazy to agree to invite the entire team, which ended in a sleepover, but I learned the benefit of planning something last minute. It worked in my favor because half of them had prior commitments! It still left about 16 kids running around the house seven of whom ended up spending the night.

I learned another thing about planning a party through these man-boys. Simple is best – hot dogs, chips, watermelon and an endless supply of brownies. Someone else provided the brownies, but I still managed to eat a few too many. Damn, brownies are good! My point is the boys didn’t care what the food was, how it was arranged or if my floor was clean.

As I said the other day, party planning can stress me out. I like things to be just so, but it’s never quite good enough, kind of like me. Sure, it would be nice to have a bigger, more elaborate house, just like it would be pretty dandy to have a flat stomach and perky boobs! However, what I have is just fine. I know this is a screwy and mental game I play with myself, and I hope that by voicing these feelings of insecurity it eradicates the power of the negativity and leads to a little more acceptance. Repeat after me Melissa, “You are fine the way you are – love it, live it.”

Last night as the evening wound down, the boys created a huge pallet of air mattresses, futons and sleeping bags on the floor and they laid down to play video games and watch TV, sans cable because we also live in the dark ages – no texting either! Some of them are accustomed to a few more amenities, but the simple things seemed to work just fine. I still heard plenty of laughter if that is any indication.

Simplicity. When I stop fussing and give myself permission to enjoy myself, it’s amazing what I find. My mind opens and I appreciate the conversation with a dear friend or watching boys devour a plate of juicy watermelon wedges as they forget this is a time in their life they are supposed to be cool. It is only when we stop to notice these fleeting, precious moments that we gain real perspective. Neither can be purchased or manufactured.

There will always be bigger soirees that dwarf our gatherings, and there will always be women who by way of heredity, surgical intervention or more dedication provide a little more curb appeal than me. Obsessing about it is useless, and there is something to be said for the effortless state of being. Did I learn that lesson from a group of stinky 14-year-old boys?

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