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Magic vs. Makeover

No single magical number exists where I need to maintain a healthy weight; however, there is a number where my pants fit, and one where they stretch across my ass so tight that you can play connect the dots with the dimples. Spare me – I know it isn’t a pretty mental image. When people only see me as the “after,” especially when they struggle with their own “before,” they may think I need to step away from the crack pipe because I look just fine.

I realize that I need to work on my mental image aligning with the physical reflection in the mirror. I keep that goal prominently lodged in my head along with the desire to cut the damn yo-yo string this year. I’m on target, but to meet these goals, I must determine not only how to get there, but how to take residence.

I know how to lose and gain weight. If there was a professional venue for either of these activities, I’m sure I could kick ass! Maintaining on the other hand is a different story. I know people trying to lose weight don’t want to hear that, but I’m here to tell you that you’re not finished even when you think you are! Perhaps I thought all my problems would be solved if I lost weight. However, I found I was still the same neurotic bitch, only one who comfortably fit in airplane and roller coaster seats.

I still had to figure out a way to live with me. During a horrible argument with my Lyle a couple years ago my ranting saw no end. I finally spewed, “Well at least you can get away from me from time to time. I’m stuck here with nowhere to go!” He finally had the last laugh! It’s true though. No matter what my weight says on the scale, I still have to deal with me, and much of the time I won’t shut the hell up!

This weight loss gig required me to realign my thoughts, actions and words. I signed up for an extreme home makeover…I changed the exterior and the interior, installed energy efficient lights, and made my living space more ergonomically pleasant. I called in the professionals!

It’s still not perfect. I’d like it to be, and it would be marvelous if everyone and everything I encountered worked smoothly and effortlessly through this time continuum. It simply doesn’t work that way. People and things are imperfect – yes that means me too. Things break down from time to time.

As I muddle my way through, I try to figure where I want to be emotionally and physically. It takes a lot of damn work, and sometimes I feel overwhelmed, but I promise you it is worth the effort.

I appreciate the good, work on the bad and celebrate what I learn from both!

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One Response

  1. “take up residence” What a great phrase. I need to take up residence in this healthy eating thing.

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