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Shhh, Can You Hear That?

My little wintery respite is almost over as I head back to work on Monday. I feel guilty complaining about my job because I have a pretty good one so I won’t even go there. Mostly, I miss my time at home. I thoroughly enjoyed my days as a stay-at-home mom, and being home now is even better because the house is silent and there are no diapers to change.

Before I lost weight I didn’t stop long enough to hear the stillness, and I ran from alone time. I think I feared what it might tell me. If I wasn’t hiding beneath my invisibility cloak, I shrouded myself in denial about what I needed in order to alter my situation. I certainly wasn’t going to slow down long enough for the possibility of insight to find me.

I treasure the silence now. Those who know me may find this hysterical given the fact that I am about as loud as they come; however, the quiet brings understanding. When my mind is calm, I find the path I need to follow.

Sometimes I don’t want to listen, and I shove carbs at the quiet. This used to work quite well, but I guess that’s how I found myself 100 pounds overweight contemplating the benefits of Hawaiian print muumuus. I know now the hunt for white flour and chocolate chips is generally my flashing neon sign telling me a new idea is trying to present itself.

New equals transition and as I’ve shared, I don’t always embrace change. It makes me uncomfortable and vulnerable. I want to be the independent “go-to” girl so I squirm when I‘m forced to admit I don’t know something, or worse yet I may need a little help.

This journey continues to show me that openness to new experiences expands my existence. So what if I feel an occasional prickle veering from of my comfort zone? I have a limited time on this earth, and I want to be an active participant. I learned being alone is not the same as being lonely.

What can you do to embrace the quiet?


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