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Alone in the Woods

If a tree falls in the woods, and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound? This may be a philosophical quandary, but what I really want to know is if I eat an entire pecan pie with a gallon of whole milk alone in my house, does it have any calories?

Unfortunately, there is nothing theoretical about weight loss. It’s a scientific and mathematical equation comparing input to output. Since I’m not training for a triathlon, my body doesn’t require calories equal to a smorgasbord. Weight loss may be simple; however, it’s far from easy. Maybe that is what causes so much frustration.

My words and emotions can complicate my life. Perhaps that is why my husband becomes so quiet when he sees my fury build. I rev up the rampage and keep justifying my behavior, but he sees no point in arguing because he is the logical science and math guy.

I hate it when I can’t bait Lyle to participate in my frenzy. If he would only bite, it would give me a perfect excuse to turn to the pie. He stays calm and tries to reason with me. If that doesn’t work, he hunkers down to wait for the madness to pass. “Just let me know when Fanatical Melissa is gone. I’ll be here tuning her out until the Sane One returns. Thanks, bye-bye.”

If I can’t get someone else to suck into my fit then I’m left to my own devices. At this point, I can sometimes stop the madness, but other times I take a bumpier path. This rocky passageway comes via a desire to eat the left hind quarter of a cow dipped in chocolate! In the presence of other people, I may talk myself through the emotional cravings. Alone time can be dangerous because it is easier to deny my actions when there is no proof of my indiscretion.

I feel like I’ve made progress. I recognize the feelings as the urge occurs so that is a definite improvement. With awareness comes a desire to affect change. I may not navigate through these situations perfectly every time; slip ups happen. Since I banished the all or nothing attitude, I generally regain composure fairly quickly and learn something through each episode.

I may not like the science or math behind weight loss, but I accept that a calorie is a calorie whether eaten alone in the woods or alongside friends at a buffet table. Easy would be nice, but in the meantime I’ll keep doing what I have to do to be successful at this weight loss gig.


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