About Me

I’ve battled weight my entire life and experimented with more diets than I care to admit. I ate my way through celebrations, grief, and my Aunt Alice’s pumpkin pie. Several years ago I decided enough was enough. At my peak I weighed more than 260 pounds. I hate to even put that in print. It wasn’t pretty. I was relegated to wearing brightly colored tunics and elastic waist pants. Yes, you can buy jeans with an elastic waist. I kept a pair for proof!

At one point I contemplated gastric bypass surgery. I was definitely a viable candidate. I felt like such a loser, and I couldn’t believe that I had somehow allowed my life to get so far out of control. I tried a low-carb diet when I first started this weight loss journey, and I experienced quite a bit of success – 80 pounds to be exact. This lifestyle forced me to look at the reasons I ate, which didn’t necessarily include hunger. Essentially, I discovered that when food called for me, I really didn’t want to eat three pounds of cheese melted over a platter of bacon. Hmm, perhaps some emotions were involved in my eating habits? I opened the door to examine emotional eating.

The problem I found with a low-carb lifestyle is I couldn’t be satisfied long term with sautéed mushrooms and fried chicken, and the weight started to creep back, and that scared the hell out of me. I needed to mix things up a bit, so I opted to try Weight Watchers one more time. Combining that with the new awareness of emotional eating seemed to do the trick.

I removed the last 50 pounds in about six months for a total of 105 pounds. I look at my previous self and cannot imagine ever going back to that place, but I also wonder if it will ever be good enough since no matter what I weigh now, I am plagued with the notion that I could lose another ten pounds.

I discovered there is no one right way to achieve success at this weight loss gig. Bottom line is that it takes a lot of work and energy; I wish I could tell you otherwise. It is worth the effort to find what works for you as the individual.

I still struggle with weight issues. I have two-year-old tantrums when I want to eat everything in sight and remain in my size 10 jeans. I want it to be easy. I want to eat pans of double fudge brownies for days on end. I want, want, want…I stop my whining, and I pull up my big girl panties and move forward.

It’s never going to be easy. Most days I am resigned to the fact that to maintain a healthy weight, I must practice mindful eating and keep physically active. However, it doesn’t mean I am destined to deprivation. It has been a bumpy, but productive journey, and I’ve learned a lot about myself through the process. Perfection is not my goal, although it would be nice. I try to find humor along the way because it helps keep me sane.

My goal for this blog is to share what I have learned along the way (and continue to confront) as I take care of my new self.

Cheers,
Melissa